Sunday, May 31, 2009

.مع السلامة يا أردن

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Boondoggle and the Tiny Terror


The tallest and shortest people on this trip, respectively.

:P

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

How to Wash Your Clothes at Al-Ballouti

Someone asked at one of our pre-departure meetings whether or not we'd have access to a laundry facility in Jordan, and Maisel said yes. So when a bottle of lotion exploded in my suitcase somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean and I arrived in Amman with half as many clean clothes as I left with, I drew the short straw by default when it came to asking the fellows at the front desk where we could do our washing.

"Five minutes," they said, and sent me back upstairs. Five minutes later, as promised, the maintenance guys brought us this:


It took a little time to figure out exactly how it worked...


...and not much time after that to decide that we'd be better off doing our laundry in the sink, because that stupid thing is a waste of space and water, not to mention an endless frustration.

This morning, as I contemplated my socks drying outside our bedroom window, it occurred to me that I will never, ever again take a real washing machine for granted.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Five Days...

I beg you to tell me - how the hell am I supposed to wash dishes with hotel bar soap, no sponge, and a kitchen sink that doesn't run hot water? There are currently five forks, four plates, a bowl, and a paring knife soaking in soapy, lukewarm water in the bathroom sink.

They haven't been washed properly since the King was coronated, I think.

Anyway, I went to the little yellow market across the street and bought a green pepper, an onion, sliced cheese, hummus, a package of turkey bacon (don't forget that pork is haraam here), and a palate of THIRTY eggs for less than 7JD. To celebrate all twelve of us passing our morning class finals, I'm making omelettes tomorrow. :)

All we have left is one more colloquial dialect class with Ahmed at 9AM and Maisel's multiple-choice and short-answer final on culture and street language at 2PM, followed by a cute little graduation ceremony in the Wadi Rum Auditorium. Then we get to go back to Reem Bashir's for an epic dinner with our professors! Woo!

Five days.

Kill Bill

Last night, as I was playing Pandemic II and trying to wipe out the entire human race with a parasitic virus named after my sister, Miranda's voice came from the bathroom: "Nikki, are you afraid of bugs?"

I met her at the door with two tissues in my hand and saw, there on the bathroom floor, my arch-nemesis: it was William, the little cockroach who likes to scuttle over my bare feet in the dark and greets me every morning by hanging out on the wall next to the light switch. He's only about the size of a quarter and lightning-quick, with feelers twice as long as his body that flail in every direction.

We... are sworn enemies.

The tissues engulfed him like a white circus tent, but before I could lay a well-aimed smackdown all over his crunchy little exoskeleton with the heel of my foot, he shot through the bathroom door and promptly became invisible somewhere near the kitchen garbage can. I was pissed. A new strategy was developed:


Oh, it's on.

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Fine Line

There's a fine line between good old-fashioned Arab hospitality and outright creepiness.

"Nikki," said Max, "as much as I admire your stubbornness and strict adherence to all things illogical, you need to get your ass over to the pharmacy and buy some fucking aloe cream for that sunburn before you start falling apart. Your skin isn't supposed to be purple."

It was 9:00, and speaking of strict adherence to all things illogical... well, by all rights, I ought to have asked Max to go with me. We all have finals for our morning classes tomorrow, though, which are oral and conducted entirely in Arabic, so everyone's more than a little on edge. I opted to go alone.

Jubeiha is a very safe neighborhood, and while most of the girls in our group move in pairs or threes just out of habit, it's not uncommon for one of us to nip across the street for peanut butter or falafel by ourselves after dark. I walked three blocks to the pharmacy and edged into its cramped, whitewashed little front room. "Do you speak English?" I asked the pharmacist, because I couldn't remember the Arabic word for 'burn' (my medical terminology is severely lacking, considering the amount of time I've spent at the hospital here), and my final option would be simply to say al-shamss ('sun') and make a sizzling noise while pressing against my shoulder. I really didn't want to resort to that. Luckily, he did speak rather good English.

We went through the usual preliminary game of twenty questions. Where are you from? Why are you visiting Jordan? What do you study at the university? How do you like it here? Where are you staying? I got around to explaining that my skin had been on fire for three days and was getting worse with each passing hour, so he went to a high shelf and pulled down two boxes printed with dubious expiration dates which, combined, cost me eight dinar.

I paid him, but he didn't give me the medication.

"I would like to offer you coffee," he said, smiling graciously.

Shit, shit, shit.

"I'd love to stay, but we're reviewing for a big test - imtihaan kebir - and my professor is expecting me to come straight back..."

"Please, one cup? I would like to share my coffee with you."

I wanted my stupid sunburn cream, so I followed him into the back room (within clear view of the door, mind you) and curled into a chair while he tended to an ibrik on the stove. The coffee was delicious, as Turkish coffee usually is, and we chatted about a variety of things: religion, international politics, hospitality, travel, languages. I stumbled through an awkward rift in our conversation when the topic of American post-secondary education suddenly morphed into a discourse on how 'blacks are lazy people who don't like to work', and despite my best efforts to knock him down a peg, he only continued to insist that his knowledge of the world was vastly superior to mine; I decided it was time to go.

I was particularly annoyed when this disagreement came up not five minutes after he admitted that a major shortcoming of Arab mentality is their stubborn narrowmindedness.

"Will you please visit me again before you leave?" he asked, and I smiled as comfortably as I could manage.

"Sure."

"When?"

I blanched. "Well... before Sunday."

"You can come tomorrow, yes?"

"Aindee mtihaan kebir, remember?"

"You can come at this time, then. At 9:30. After your imtihaan. You like cake with your coffee, yes?"

"Well, sure. I guess. But, ah, my professor doesn't like the girls to go out alone at night, so would it be all right if I brought my friend Max along with me tomorrow?"

His face darkened just a bit in a way that made me feel extremely uneasy. "I do not know your friend, and I prefer conversation between two; conversation between three is too different. Maybe if I had had coffee with him before, then yes, but I would like if you come alone."

"Okay," I said weakly. "Tomorrow night at 9:30."

He gave me the medication, and as soon as I was out of his sight, I ran flat-out back to the hotel.

Maisel was not pleased. His epic German moustache bristled as he confirmed my interpretation of the situation: "No, you're absolutely right; that was really inappropriate of him. I won't go tonight, but in the morning I'll be sure to check out the pharmacy - and to give Jamil a talking-to about proper Jordanian hospitality. There's a very fine line in these kinds of situations, and he crossed it."